Athlete’s Need to Stick with Sports

A trip to Joe Theismann’s Restaurant in Alexandria was a disappointment but not a surprising one –  professional athlete restaurant’s are generally not for foodies.  On the plus side, its roomy, great sports photos all over the place (to the point you actually want to stop and stare at some of them), a good place for families with kids (up to and including teenagers) and for folks who are not foodies.

But if your thing is a food – not your place.  First, the menu is basically effete bar food  – burgers, fries, some pastas, steak.  For example, the house salad came out droopy – all of it droopy the lettuce, onions and cukes – droopy.  The blue cheese dressing was so watery I thought it was ranch or something else and, it really only had one piece of actual cheese and not much flavor.

Then the ahi tuna with rice, sugar peas and an Asian sauce – was soggy – all drenched in the sauce.  Now the sauce was flavorful but unoriginal your classic ginger-soy-sesame sauce.  The tuna which was supposed to be rare was as hard as a hockey puck and the rice was basic white and kind of clumpy.  Others got the crab cakes which were a decent size but lacked flavor.  The fries were crispy but had really had no flavor either.

Dessert choices were all standard: cheesecake, bread pudding, molten chocolate and a “grilled” banana bread.  Not sure why one would grill whats basically a breakfasty type bread and serve it with ice cream but it did not taste bad – just nothing unique or to write about. 😉

Wine menu -what you would expect from a chain.

As for service – below average.  The good-the waiter was patient with the big crowd and appeared regularly.  The bad – when he passed out the silverware – he kind of flung it and it bounced around the table.  The weirdest part though was our table was between a wall and a large pillar.  The waitress serving the table next to us, rather than going back to the kitchen via the walkway – decided to try and squeeze herself between the pillar and the chair of one of our guests.  The guest could not scoot the chair in any further to give the waitress room to squeeze by – rather than aborting the waitress got irritated and told the person with great attitude: “I am trying to squeeze by.”  Yes – waitress we – know we saw and we puzzled.

The menu is reasonably priced and there is out door seating.

Joe Theissman’s Alexandria





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